What Does He Have To Say? Part I

Up to this day I am still so torn between supporting and opposing the divorce bill in the Philippines. As you can see, I have been trying my best to type posts that weigh both sides of the issue objectively because I am confused and do not want to paint all of my compositions with bias.

If you would like to know, I am a born again Christian. I know I am not worthy to be called a pure person because I have my own share of transgressions just like any other person—may they be Roman Catholic, part of Iglesia ni Cristo, Muslim, Hindu, you name it. As a Christian, I first sought the Bible for answers on the issue of divorce unlike others who run to the internet or base their opinions on the credibility and opinions of personalities for or against it. So here’s my story on how I was enlightened on God’s views on divorce. I do not mean to be preachy, I would just like to share where my opinions and fuzzy stand on divorce come from.

It is not unfamiliar to Filipinos that the divorce bill has not just become a political issue but a religious one too. Divorce affects everyone in the society thus it is looked through the lens of different aspects. But this story looks through my aspect—one of a born again Christian.

I first checked what the Bible had to say about divorce because I believe that we, imperfect humans inevitably change—in attitudes, opinions, beliefs etc. but what God has to say has never changed since his preachings were inscribed through scriptures 1000 years ago.

I was enlightened by the pastoral message of David B. Curtis. He taught that the New Testament law of divorce is strict. Jesus restricted divorce to one cause only—fornication. But still, he did bind men and women who were unhappily married. So ask why he still allowed they continue living a life of misery? Because they covenanted before God to love each other until death, not until happiness. Curtis adds that the mayhem of divorce on a religious aspect has been due to discrepancies in standards. Some people have lowered its standard while others have raised it more than God’s intent. “In order to stop the problem, let’s take the Bible’s standard and raise it” is just as wrong as the lax view because it is not what God precisely states. Therefore, it is important to seek what the Bible says if you would like to oppose it in a religious aspect.

Malachi 2:16 says, “For the LORD God of Israel says that He hates divorce.” God detests divorce and has He changed his mind on this over the years? “For I am the LORD, I do not change; Therefore you are not consumed, O sons of Jacob.” (Malachi 3:6) In Palestine, the Pharisees wanted to destroy Jesus and divorce was a flaming issue—whether it was lawful to divorce out of any reason or lawful to divorce only because of fornication. But he went along and preached what was right.

Jesus taught that first, God created one man for one woman. Second, marriage is a strong bond. Third, it makes the two one flesh. And fourth, marriage is a work of God.

So there goes one of my puzzling thoughts—divorce is lawful only for those who committed fornication, but God completely detests it. Watch out for Part II!

Reference: http://www.bereanbiblechurch.org/transcripts/topical/bible_and_divorce.htm

Learn from Uncle Sam

The United States of America is one of the more prominent countries that legally have divorce and whose society accepts it. But at the same time, since it allows divorce, it is also prominent in being one of the leading countries with couples filing divorce. Maybe, instead of the Philippines thinking that having a divorce bill means moving on to greener pastures and “the 21^st century”, we should learn from the mistakes and repercussions divorce has cause in their societies, more so their families.

Every year, over 1 million American children suffer from the divorce of their parents. What’s saddening is half of the those children born in 2000 expected that their parents would file for divorce before they turned 18 years old. Moreover, the Americans for Divorce Reform estimates that 40 or 50% of marriages end in divorce. This means that 1 out of 2 couples are likely to get divorced. This rate has come as a shock to America and has caused concern in political, social and religious circles in the country. Further statistics show that the divorce rate in America for the first marriage is 41%, the divorce rate for the second marriage is 60% while the divorce rate for third marriage is 73%. Clearly, the results show that divorce has caused a “trial and error” trend in Americans as divorce has become a way for them to try out a marriage, and if it does not work out, they can simply file for divorce and try their luck with another person again.

The Discovery Channel states that couples with children have a slightly—note, slightly—lower rate of divorce than childless couples as absence of children is one of the reasons for the failure of marriage. But why exactly has Uncle Sam’s several couples—a whooping 50%--resorted to divorce? Marriage101.org says that the answer lies in American belief, “freedom is one of the most important beliefs for America and nothing can replace it besides love. When they marry, they do not run for long love. If they think the love and family cannot offer their happiness and safety, they would choose to divorce.” Americans will not value family and/or children more than themselves because obviously, they are very individualistic. “That means they love freedom not stability. Their dreams are running for their own blessedness.”

So maybe, divorce is not for the Philippines because we think a great deal and have so much value for culture, tradition, religion and most especially—family and children.

Divorce has evidently torn up then fundamental unit of the American family, the American society. More and more Americans have broken homes, a single parent or even no parent, causing psychological, health and emotional problems, developing rebellious attitudes, performing poorly in academics—all because of America’s permit to divorce. We think that the United States is still a rich country, but until now it is still suffering from one of the worst recessions any other country has faced over history, thus 50% of the parents with children who are going through divorce move into poverty after the divorce.

And then again, maybe the Philippines should be better off without divorce because it is already an impoverish nation with millions of Filipinos suffering from no sufficient everyday provisions even if they are intact families.

More than thinking of the advantages and benefits divorce could have on couples like a sound mind and peacefulness from all the abuse and arguments, the consequences should be foreseen. Filipinos look up so much to the Americans but more than that, we should also learn from their mistakes—not make the same mistakes.

Sources:

http://www.aboutdivorce.org/us_divorce_rates.html

http://marriage101.org/divorce-rates-in-america/

http://www.heritage.org/Research/Reports/2000/06/The-Effects-of-Divorce-on-America

The Nitty-Gritty

So what exactly are the contents of the proposed divorce bill for the Philippines? What are the contents that make one half of Filipinos support it, and the other half oppose it? Do Filipinos even know the nitty-gritty of the bill the Gabriela Women’s Party is proposing? Because from what I have observed, many Filipinos take sides based on just what they see on the surface—just like elections campaigns a.k.a. popularity contests. Which candidate has the more heart-wrenching story? Which candidate has the more popular and good-looking celebrity supporters?

So Filipinos, before you even advocate or disapprove of the bill, take the time to know what exactly the contents are. Thanks to the Internet, the bill is accessible in its entirety at Gabriela Women’s Party’s website.

Representatives Liza Largoza-Maza and Luzviminda C. Ilagan first passed House Bill No. 3461 on January 30, 2008. Since I do not want to rely heavily on the contents of the bill itself, I was able to gather five distinctions of the divorce bill that sets itself apart from the current Family Code of the Philippines containing laws on legal separation and annulment. Rep. Luzviminda Ilagana discussed that the grounds for the proporse divorce bill are as follows:

1. If the couple has been geographically separated for five years without possible form of contact
2. If the couple has been legally separated for two years
3. If there is apparent cause such as abandonment, abuse, infidelity, etc.
4. Psychological incapacity of one or both parties
5. Irreconcilable differences of the married couple

Although House Bill. No. 3461 is a draft law on divorce, part of its contents are grounds for legal separation as some aspects of the latter are applied to divorce, while some grounds are repealed to make way for new provisions in particular situations.

Unknown to many are the provisions of the divorce bill, but something far more unacknowledged is the fact that this is not the first time Philippines is encountering this issue. In fact, the nation was allowed legal divorce in the time of the American colonization and Japanese occupation.

Facts say that the late Vice President Arturo Tolentino was granted divorce during the Japanese Occupation on the 15th of September, 1943. He was legally granted divorce on the grounds of desertion and abandonment by his wife for at least 3 continuous years. Consequently, divorce was removed from Philippine law in 1950 when the Civil Code was implemented. Yet today, Filipinos in failed marriages are still given a choice of annulment or legal separation that could somehow improve and alleviate familial and financial issues.

At this time of pressure to take sides, (unless you are ignorant and apathetic to these social issues), it pays to educate oneself on hard facts rather than the news which clearly already has its own interpretations, biases and opinions. Take a look at the divorce bill downloadable here, and see for yourself. Are you for or against the divorce bill?

Sources:

http://www.gabrielawomensparty.net/legislation/hb-3461-divorce-bill

http://www.abs-cbnnews.com/lifestyle/06/10/11/ph-had-divorce-during-us-japan-occupation

http://sheenahtan.net/2011/abs-cbn-harapan-on-divorce-bill/

Divorce, Annulment and Legal Separation Part II

How was that for some digestive reading? Of course, justifying divorce, annulment and legal separation would be useless without arguments from law. So here’s part II of hopefully the last post on unexciting, yet informative grounds that shed light on the differences of annulment, divorce and legal separation.

Annulment constitutes being given the opportunity to remarry. However, in legal separation, the couple is still considered married to each other, and so cannot remarry. Atty. Pamaos states these are the grounds for legal separation:

1. Repeated physical violence or grossly abusive conduct directed against the petitioner, a common child, or a child of the petitioner.
2. Physical violence or moral pressure to compel the petitioner to change religious or political affiliation.
3. Attempt of respondent to corrupt or induce the petitioner, a common child, or a child of the petitioner, to engage in prostitution, or connivance in such corruption or inducement.
4. Final judgment sentencing the respondent to imprisonment of more than six years, even if pardoned.
5. Drug addiction or habitual alcoholism of the respondent.
6. Lesbianism or homosexuality of the respondent.
7. Contracting by the respondent of a subsequent bigamous marriage, whether in the Philippines or abroad.
8. Sexual infidelity or perversion.
9. Attempt by the respondent against the life of the petitioner.
10. Abandonment of petitioner by respondent without justifiable cause for more than one year.

The term “child” shall include a child by nature or by adoption.

Philippine Law does declare nullity of marriage like divorce but they do not share common grounds. Here’s why:

1. Minority. Those married during their minority even with parental consent.
2. Lack of authority of solemnizing officer. Those who don’t have legal authorization to perform marriages.
3. Absence of marriage license (except in certain cases).
4. Bigamous or polygamous marriages (except when the other spouse is declared as presumptively dead).
5. Mistake in identity.
6. Failure to record with the appropriate registry property distribution and children’s legitimacy after nullity of first marriage.
7. Incestuous marriages.
8. Void by reason of public policy.
9. Psychological incapacity.

I was able to gather some more information on the differences of divorce, annulment and legal separation although it is not in the Philippine context as cohesive sources for it are limited. To sum it all up, Atty. Frederick William Schwinn from California states the differentiations:

Divorce. It is the dissolution and an end to marriage. After divorce, the spouses are considered singly and can marry again. After divorce, parties could ask for child, spousal or partner support, custody and visitation, restraining orders against domestic violence, division of property etc.

Annulment. It is when the court declares a marriage not legally valid like incestuous or bigamous relationships. Instances of force, fraud, physical or mental incapacity, minority age during marriage could nullify marriage. These cases are judged through hearings.

Legal Separation. It does not end a marriage thus remarriage or entering another partnership are prohibited. It is for couples that don’t wish to divorce but would like to live apart and decide on money, property and parenting issues. Some couples may prefer this to divorce due to religious faith. Orders mentioned in divorced could be asked for too.

Sources:

http://attyatwork.com/annulment-divorce-legal-separation-in-philippines-questions-answers/

http://www.avvo.com/legal-guides/ugc/whats-the-difference-between-a-divorce-a-legal-separation-and-an-annulment

Divorce, Annulment & Legal Separation Part I

As I was thinking of what to type for my blog post on divorce today, my thoughts suddenly stood at a crossroads. It asked, “What is the difference between annulment and divorce anyway?” Since Philippines already states the former as part of its laws, what is the use of the latter then? So when I got home, I immediately researched what the dissimilarities of annulment and divorce are in the Philippines. Unexpectedly, another one came up to toggle the picture even more—legal separation. It was only when I stumbled upon a law blog of a Filipino, Atty. Fred Pamaos that I got a cleared picture of what those three terms meant.

Atty. Pamaos is a cum laude graduate from the University of the Philippines with degrees in Bachelor of Political Science and Bachelor of Laws. He formerly practiced at the Picazo Buyco Tan Fider and Santos Law Offices, and Castillo Laman Tan Panteleon and San Jose Law Offices. Currently, he is a Supervising Lawyer at UP’s College of Law Office of Legal Aid.

He started off his question-and-answer format article on “Annulment, Divorce and Legal Separation in the Philippines” with, “divorce is not allowed in the Philippines,” which holds true until if the Congress decides to pass the bill. Filipinos are covered by the “nationality principle” so wherever they get married, like America for instance that allows divorce, they are prohibited from such a law. Philippine Law governs Filipinos wherever they may be.

Although Philippines currently does not allow divorce (which we already know as declaring marriage legally null due to irreparable grounds), it allows annulment and legal separation on certain grounds. Annulment is different from “declaration of nullity” as the former applies to a marriage that is still considered valid, while the grounds for nullity apply “to marriages that are invalid from the very beginning. In other words, it was never valid in the first place.”

To sift it some more and clear up the confusing picture, here are the grounds for annulment of marriage:

1. Lack of parental consent in certain cases. If a party beyond minority married without the consent of the parents/guardian.
2. Insanity. A marriage may be annulled if, at the time of marriage, a spouse was of disordered mind.
3. Fraud. The consent of either spouse was gotten through fraud.
4. Forece, intimidation or undue influence.
5. Impotence. During marriage, either spouse was physically incapable of consummating the marriage with the other and appears to be incurable. Note, impotence is different from infertility.
6. Sexually transmitted infection that is found to be serious and incurable.

I am not one to bore my readers with the constitutes of law because even it bores me so a Part II will be in order.

Sources:

http://jlp-law.com/pamaos

http://attyatwork.com/annulment-divorce-legal-separation-in-philippines-questions-answers/

Silver Lining

When I browsed to internet to look for advantages and/or benefits of divorce, it came as no surprise that there was a shortage of informative and encouraging sources. But for the sake of leveling the field and balancing out the disadvantages of divorce I discussed in a previous blog post, here are the ones I was able to extract.

True enough, getting a divorce or legally voiding marriage is not really the end of the world. More so, it could even mean the start of something better and brighter for one or both of the spouses after a horrible relationship of abuse, arguments and battling it out in court. Divorce is usually associated with sorrow, pain, brokenness, dissonance and so many more negative feelings that could deeply afflict the former spouses as well as their children. But those who go through with the traumatic sufferings of divorce tend to forget that divorce is a remedial measure for the unhappiness and grief that marriage has brought for them.

Therefore, looking only at the depressing effects divorce has on those it involves, it also pays to look at the brighter side of things. After all, wasn’t divorce supposed to be the “solution” to a “problem”? And solutions are almost always supposed to be positive. The benefits of divorce include:

It gives life a new beginning. Of course, divorce is usually the last resort a couple would go to if their marriage is not the most ideal and happy relationship. But sometimes, it is simply unfeasible for relationships to work even if there have been several instances trying to revive and rekindle it—even erase the horrible past and start from scratch. Therefore, divorce could mean a chance at starting afresh, and with a clean slate. It means letting go and moving on. After all, we were not given this life to mope on our problems but to live it.

Freedom is one of the best benefits. Marriage is a partnership and when one spouse tries to control the other, it is unhealthy and takes its toll psychologically and emotionally to the other spouse. But luckily, divorce could mean breaking away and having a newfound freedom. They no longer have to account for anyone but himself or herself which personally, I think is very liberating since I am never one to allow anyone to control me to a great extent. A great weight is lifted and life will eventually present many new opportunities.

New relationships. Many a time, people who have just gotten out of a horrible marriage become pessimistic and think that there is no one else for them and become too vulnerable to allow anyone else into their life. But people are very adaptive beings and soon enough, they learn to let their guard down and this could mean another shot at committing to someone who can give you genuine, unconditional love.

Personal growth. New beginnings and freedom in life is the passageway to individual growth. It gives you the power to take over and listen to what your feelings are, discover who you were meant to be and developing your capabilities. Unbalanced marriages tend to stop this individual growth but divorce gives you another chance at it.

Sources:

http://benefitof.net/benefits-of-divorce/

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/2822476/the_benefits_of_getting_a_divorce_pg2.html?cat=41

What's Happening Part II

Clearly, the Catholic church is not going down without a fight in the issue of whether the divorce bill in the Philippines should be passed or not. Recently, reports state that prominent figures from the Catholic church have expressed very strong opinions opposing the divorce bill, supporting it with disadvantages and stating the inconsistency of the government that is causing confusion among Filipinos.

A CBCPNews report said that Butuan Bishop Juan de Dios Pueblos said that the bill will lead to more immorality in the Philippine society. This meant that giving an easy passage to divorce could lead to more complacency of Filipinos that when their relationships fail, they could try over and over again.

Another Archbishop Emeritus Oscar Cruz said May 31 that the divorce is bill is “anti-Filipino.” He expressed through rhetorical questions how the divorce bill could alleviate broken marriages if it meant one or both spouses could marry multiple times, and how many more homes could be broken in the process, how many children will be forsaken. Archbishop Cruz stressed that children are strongly affected when their parents divorce.

More leverage of the mentioned opposing statements were supported by Father Melvin Castro when he said that the divorce bill could mean that people will be given the wrongful right to search for a perfect spouse by jumping from one marriage to another. “If the marriage falls short of that image, they will separate,” Castro said.

Today, the CBCP are against the divorce bill being reviewed in Congress more than ever. People now are wondering how come we are the only nation left without the law of divorce; some see it as a way of stepping up the nation’s game and be removed from it’s “third world” state. But the priests begged to differ, and I side by them in this opinion strongly. The Philippines is the only nation left without a divorce bill as Malta moves forward to respond to what the people want—why not take this fact as an advantage? “Kung sasabihin sa akin ‘kayo na lang ang natitira, Pilipinas, na walang divorce,’ Salamat sa Diyos! (If I were told, ‘Philippines is the only one left without divorce’) That is a distinction! I’m very proud of that!” he said. Divorce is not a way to get ahead of other countries or step to great country development; it is a wrong passage to positively reforming the Philippines.

Aside from opposing the divorce bill, the priests thought that it was part of the government’s tactics to confuse the public and deflect focus on more important issues that are not being solved immediately. Well, it did show from the very beginning that the President, Ninoy Aquino lacked precise direction and focus. Maybe it is because of his lack of experience? After all, he is more focused on building the future of his marital life. Kidding aside, the priests pointed out the lack of focus from PNoy’s opinions on the matter. Archibishop Cruz said that he was “having a harder time trying to trust the national leadership. It is a leadership that has no direction, it’s going around, round and round.” This could be the fact that PNoy himself did not have a clear stand on divorce, as if he was beating around the bush.

Sources:

http://www.abs-cbnnews.com/nation/06/06/11/priests-say-divorce-leads-immorality

http://www.abs-cbnnews.com/-depth/05/30/11/cruz-says-divorce-bill-anti-filipino

http://www.abs-cbnnews.com/-depth/06/03/11/prelate-fumes-pnoy-over-divorce-rh-bills

http://www.abs-cbnnews.com/-depth/06/03/11/divorce-ph-pros-and-cons

Domino Effect

We are all aware of the fact that although divorce could mean an end of a brutal relationship for a husband and wife, it causes a lot of psychological and emotional and even physical ramifications to the former couple’s child or children. They say that when children go through a hurtful experience in their young years, they are scarred for life. So more than the complications of legal battles and physical wounds divorce brings, let us look at its effects that could trickle down to many generations, multiplying the pain of a bitter past.

Studies show that there really is a big impact on children when their parents get divorced. True enough, we do not want our future generations to be emotionally shaped from bitter pasts and broken relationships but then again, it seems to be inevitable today because of divorce’s ready availability to people in most parts of the world. Unfortunately, when this situation occurs in a family, children being the parents’ number one priority take a back seat as they focus and dwell on the wrong things that have happened in their marriage.

Wayne Parker, a consultant and trainer cites why and how children are heavily impacted by divorce.

· Fear of change. Once marriage is legally void, nothing will ever be the same again. There is no more turning back to a complete family. It will not just be the absence of a mother or a father but daily routines that happen in a child’s life. More than their immediate family relationships, divorce could also be at the expenditure of losing extended family ties. Growing up, children follow certain routines from the usual bed they sleep on to the time they wake up. We all know that they are far less accustomed to accepting change.

· Fear of being abandoned. Divorce means having to lose the natural attachment with their parents and once they experience this, they could interpret it as, “one day, the people, places and things they are attached to will eventually vanish away.” Resulting to fear of being too close to people, at the expense of not having many friendly relationships.

· Coping with parental tension. Divorces mean a lot of years of anger, hatred, bitterness and tension between the husband and wife that could trickle down to their children. And parents who try to turn their children against the other spouse create an absolutely destructible situation for that child.

· Cathy Meyer, a divorce coach, marriage education and legal investigator said children of divorce are more aggressive towards people, especially their parents. They experience depression and become more cynical because of the things they have gone through. This is because a child’s happiness is not dependent on their parents’ happiness but stems from their used-to routine, having a home with two parents and friendships.

In conclusion, Cathy Meyer advised, “it is the aftermath of divorce, not the process of divorce that does our children the most harm. Don’t buy into the belief that once the process is over all will find a happy ending. Focus not only on the process but on what needs to be done after the process to help the children and adults move forward with as little emotional harm as possible.”

Before even dipping your feet into the water, take a step back and assess not only what you and your spouse can get out of voiding your marriage—if the divorce bill in the Philippines get legalized, may it be good or bad—but also its aftermath to your children and extended family.

Sources:

http://fatherhood.about.com/od/relationshipswithkids/a/Why-Children-Are-Impacted-By-Divorce.htm

http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/childrenanddivorce/p/childrenmyths.htm

What's Happening

Malta—a nation that is majorly populated by Roman Catholics—announced that they are legalizing divorce. One Deborah Schembri said, “With or without divorce, marriages are breaking down, children are born out of wedlock and couples are cohabiting.”

Likewise, the Philippines once again opened its floor at the Revision of Codes to reassess the divorce bill passed by the Gabriela Women’s Party-list. It seems that Representative Luz Ilagan has the same justification as Schembri as to why the divorce bill should be passed, “I appeal to my colleagues in Congress to… give Filipino couples in irreparable and unhappy marriages this option.”

And indeed, the Filipinos have spoken. At least, that is what the Social Weather Stations (SWS) say. They conducted face-to-face interviews of 1,200 adults all over the nation about their stand on divorce last March 4-7, 2011. The results show that 50% of Filipinos agree while 33% disagree with allowing separated and irreconcilable couples divorce.

But is it not that 1,200 respondents are a far cry from the millions of Filipino voices and opinions waiting to be acknowledged? But more than the background of the survey, President Ninoy Aquino’s statement on the divorce bill surprised me. I think this is another strike at how he proved people right that he is a lazy leader. I gathered from an ABS-CBN news report online that he said divorce is not his priority at this time. But shouldn’t “everything” be the president’s priority? After all, “everything” and the welfare of his citizens—the Filipinos are at his hands? But let us not let my cynical attitude towards the president run all over the place. After all, he did redeem himself by saying he does not want to rush the process of the divorce bill just like those Las Vegas weddings where you can wed in the morning and get divorced that same afternoon. Let’s hope then that he does not resort to a Las Vegas wedding if his number one goal to get married before his term ends isn’t fulfilled.

Based on news reports, although 50% of Filipinos are in favor of divorce, it is still those who are against it—besides the Catholic church—that are making the headlines. Many politicians besides PNoy are still skeptical that divorce will be legalized in the Philippines. But it seems that these judgments made by politicians like Ilocos Norte’s Rodolfo Fariñas are more based on personal relationships than an opinion that represents his people, “palagay ko ito di lulusot sa floor dahil magagalit misis at mga mister kasi sasabihin may intensyon ka diyan.”

Well, I think it is good that there are balanced forces on the decision-making of the divorce bill. The longer I am immersed in articles, quotes, reports and books about divorce, the more I am confused at what my stand is. But for now, this is the current progress happening to the divorce bill being revised in the Philippines. The Philippines is a nation strongly guided and influenced by Roman Catholicism and The Vatican, so I think it is already inevitable that when it comes to rules and regulations that involve Christian morality, the church will always step in.

Sources:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20110602/lf_afp/lifestylephilippinesmarriagereligiondivorce

http://www.manilastandardtoday.com/insideOpinion.htm?f=2011/june/2/jennyortuoste.isx&d=2011/june/2

http://www.maltatoday.com.mt/news/national/divorce-will-regulate-those-without-rights-iva-chairperson

http://www.abs-cbnnews.com/nation/06/02/11/divorce-bill-not-priority-%E2%80%93-pnoy

http://www.abs-cbnnews.com/nation/06/01/11/divorce-bill-likely-be-challenged-sc

http://www.abs-cbnnews.com/nation/06/01/11/50-pinoys-back-divorce-sws

Weigh In

Just like the Reproductive Health bill, the sudden reopening of talks about the divorce bill at the Congress has divided the Filipinos once again. And we all know that the Catholic church has been the most solid representation of opposition to the bill.

The Philippines is a nation heavily bounded by religion that is Roman Catholicism, but then again since it is also democratic, some people choose to base their stands on issues more liberally and practically, rather than morally.

Before I reveal to you my personal opinions on divorce and the possible passing of its bill in the Philippines, I decided to be a channel of what some of the Filipino youth have to say about it. After all, they are the future citizens to whom the divorce bill could cater to if passed. And while the divorce bill is being reassessed, I think it is important to value every Filipino’s opinion, whatever stand they may take.

Friends no younger than 18 years old whom I personally talked to and personally messaged through social networking sites voiced the following statements out. To maintain confidentiality, their names will be in the form of initials.

“I think divorce is a sign that you really did not prepare/forsee clearly your life with your partner in the future, and that's why it lead to a divorce. Or you did not give enough time to think through your lives together and rushed into things right away. So when misunderstandings arise, they don’t know how to resolve it and it results to divorce. Divorce may be inevitable, but it can be because of stupidity.” —MC

“For me, I don't believe in divorce because why would you marry a person then realize that you don't really love them. Yeah, maybe you're compatible with one another but love really takes time to develop. Divorce is a bad especially if you're a confused person and break a lot of hearts.” —CM

“I’m anti-divorce because why get married to someone who you knew was forever and now turned to whatever? I mean being married to someone is a state of situation of love and nourish. Partners in crime. And another thought would be annulment is present so its pretty much the same.” —JB

“I think it's okay! People have the right to divorce. Tayo nalang kaya naiwan! And, may right ang individual magdecide for themselves. Not religion, or anything na over sakanila.” —MM

“I'm okay with divorce. We have to accept that not all marriages are perfect.” —DR

“Well since my parents are divorced I can say that I'm fine with the idea. I mean if the parents really can't solve their problems and everything is just getting worse I don't see why they shouldn't get a divorce. I'd rather have my parents split up than having them fight all the time.” —LE

“I disagree with divorce because first and foremost we are a Catholic Community, thereby submitting ourselves to divorce would change our perspective of the sacredness of marriage. Soon to be couples would be open to the idea that divorce is legal, and so would rather have it by unpredictable circumstances. Look at other countries; do they still call themselves sacred, by seeing the fact that they broke their commitments and promises just because of selfishness, misunderstandings? Look how they view marriage, it seems that it is already part of their tradition. My answer is no, what will happen to our future generations if broken families will continue to occur? There will be no "happy families" anymore who will live according to God's plan and will.” —ME

“I'm against it because the legalization of divorce would only destruct the Filipinos' value for family.” —SP

“What God put together, let man not separate!” —KP

“I like the idea that it gives married couples an opportunity to separate if they think that their relationship isn't helping them become better people but I don't like that it demeans the true meaning of marriage and with divorce as an option the sanctity of marriage is compromised.”

“Tama na 'yang kaartehan at wag maniwala sa simbahan. I-legalize ang divorce dahil kailangan ito ng bansa.” —LO

Clearly, there is a great divide among Filipinos regarding the divorce bill. Some think that it is detrimental to how Filipinos value family generally and religiously. Others see it as a solution to bringing peace to unsettled, broken relationships while some think that it is a step forward to innovation—as if not having a divorce bill sets us back in the race. So what are your thoughts, what is your stand, to something that has already torn the unity of a nation?